Thursday, March 15, 2012

Life is going on here

So this past few weeks have been so crazy around here. My 15 year old daughter is in intense therapy and hour away from our home,So we drive there 2 times a week in the evening, my husband had shoulder surgery, my house is not clean by my standards and we got a puppy, I feel so disconnected. Why? I have weeks where everything is great and moving forward and then I have a few days where I just lose sight of myself, my dreams, goals and everything. I am not writing this blog for pity but to check in with you guys. I read a book recently The Four Agreements and it was an eye opener for me to really look at how I want to live my life and what I should be practicing with my kids. The four agreements are 1- to be impeccable with your word, 2- to not take anything personally, 3- to not assume, 4- to do my best. The first thing I did was start to love my body the way it is stop finding all my imperfections and just love it because it is mine.
 I have also really tried to not assume things about people. This can be hard, we live in a very judgmental society. This really is one to work on with the kids too, they come home and want, want, want and its mostly because other kids have things. They assume I can afford things on a whim for them, that their friends are rich because they have things, you know not important things but this is where it starts with the little things. My son who goes through shoes faster than anyone I have ever met assumed I could just go out and buy some no big deal. I took this opportunity to show him the calender the bills we have to pay and when I could buy him some shoes, he is only 8 but somewhat understood what I was teaching him, money doesnt just show up around here we work for it. 
To not take anything personally wowzers how hard is this one for me, I am like a walking emotional cloud or ray of sunshine depending on the day. But I learned I just need to do things for my own inner happiness not to hear someone else say good job, I can tell myself  "hey you made on hell of a dinner tonight". I am a pretty good cook, friend, sister, awesome wife and a great mom. 
Everyday I pray, sometimes several times and I always end it with let me do my best today with everything I do. Thats all I can ask for to do my best and to be in the moment of what ever I am doing.

Whats for dinner? I think we are having grilled cheese and tomato soup. Its raining here so that sounds good. 

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