Update on Victoria

 Victoria is doing well and will be coming home tomorrow. We are both anxious, nervous and so much more. Victoria has a mental health issue known as Borderline Personality Disorder. Right now she can not be technically diagnosed until she is 18, because in the mental health world your personality doesn't develop until you are 18. I have been reading a book called
 Stop Walking on Egg Shells, which has made so much sense of so many things from when she was a little girl until now. Victoria suffers from a very deep rooted depression that will take a very long time to help her come out of. We work together as a family to build her up so she can hopefully see what we see one day. Therapy will continue through an IOP, Intensive Outpatient Therapy,  program in Stockton 2-3 times a week. It will be a long, slow, intense process and I just have to have hope that my beautiful girl will see a light at the end of the road. 

I get asked everyday how are you doing? Well lets be honest in my 38 years of life so far this has been the most difficult thing I have gone through. Some days are better than others. I feel a lot of different emotions to be honest. I am sad she has to feel this way, I am not looking forward to driving so much, I am not ready for the financial strain this will put on our little family. I was just starting to apply for jobs and this all happened. My ever so patient husband and family say this is my job right now. We are taking it one day at a time for now and hope for the best. 

I appreciate all your messages, texts and calls. 

Just for kicks Whats for dinner?
We are having a jambalaya kind of thing I hope the kids like it.
 

Busy week!

So this week is getting off to a great big batch of pink eye at my house. I have 2 kids home today husband picking up meds for them this morning while at his physical therapy appointment, a lot of praying its only these 2. Had a great relaxing weekend catching up on housework, small projects and quality husband wife time. We have a busy week ahead therapy appointments, I clean 2 houses, my husbands 4 kids have this week off so they will be coming on Wednesday, and my sisters going to Las Vegas this weekend and the baby aka "Beefy", will be with us Friday night to Monday night.

Now on to a project I have going on 3 boys dolls and 1 girl doll, faces on the boys were not right for me so after staring at them for a few days I pulled some buttons out and they look so cute now. I like to take my time with the dolls I make I want them to look how I have pictured them in my head. This set of dolls I am working on right now have many details as far as their clothing and such. I am hoping for a good chunk of time today to get them more together.

Well I hope you guys have a great week and I hope to check in again soon.

Whats for dinner? Corned beef sandwiches yummmm

Life is going on here

So this past few weeks have been so crazy around here. My 15 year old daughter is in intense therapy and hour away from our home,So we drive there 2 times a week in the evening, my husband had shoulder surgery, my house is not clean by my standards and we got a puppy, I feel so disconnected. Why? I have weeks where everything is great and moving forward and then I have a few days where I just lose sight of myself, my dreams, goals and everything. I am not writing this blog for pity but to check in with you guys. I read a book recently The Four Agreements and it was an eye opener for me to really look at how I want to live my life and what I should be practicing with my kids. The four agreements are 1- to be impeccable with your word, 2- to not take anything personally, 3- to not assume, 4- to do my best. The first thing I did was start to love my body the way it is stop finding all my imperfections and just love it because it is mine.
 I have also really tried to not assume things about people. This can be hard, we live in a very judgmental society. This really is one to work on with the kids too, they come home and want, want, want and its mostly because other kids have things. They assume I can afford things on a whim for them, that their friends are rich because they have things, you know not important things but this is where it starts with the little things. My son who goes through shoes faster than anyone I have ever met assumed I could just go out and buy some no big deal. I took this opportunity to show him the calender the bills we have to pay and when I could buy him some shoes, he is only 8 but somewhat understood what I was teaching him, money doesnt just show up around here we work for it. 

To not take anything personally wowzers how hard is this one for me, I am like a walking emotional cloud or ray of sunshine depending on the day. But I learned I just need to do things for my own inner happiness not to hear someone else say good job, I can tell myself  "hey you made on hell of a dinner tonight". I am a pretty good cook, friend, sister, awesome wife and a great mom. 

Everyday I pray, sometimes several times and I always end it with let me do my best today with everything I do. Thats all I can ask for to do my best and to be in the moment of what ever I am doing.

Whats for dinner? I think we are having grilled cheese and tomato soup. Its raining here so that sounds good. 

Being a Mom

One of the hardest most underpaid jobs around I think. I do everything I can for my kids and still teach them lessons that I feel they need to know. I am truthful, respectful, open and honest with all of our kids, my 5 and my husband has 4, we are a modern day Brady Bunch. There are times when I feel overwhelmed with all the kids and trying to give everyone the attention they need. I don't spoil them with possessions I try really hard to teach them you have to work for things, so I say no a lot. 

 We had a really hard time this last Christmas if it were not for our families our kids would have had no gifts. We struggle just like every-other family, we make it a point to tell our kids when they complain that we have a roof, food on the table and we are all pretty healthy. 

There are times when I hear about my kids friends what they have, are doing and I get a little down but then I remember the kind of family we are and how much my kids love our home we have created. I could not be more proud of my kids they are so smart, caring and conscience of people around them. Don't get me wrong there are some mornings I wake up and the shouting between siblings has started before they even get out of bed. They think I ignore them and I don't, its just for me I pick my battles what lesson can I teach from what ever they are yelling about, and will we be laughing about this later? For example yesterday my 8 year old son had a piece of glass in his knee it took 45 minutes to get it out, the girls all laughed at his crying, I got frustrated and walked away to make our dinner many times and in the end when he looked away I pulled it out. While we ate dinner we all laughed about it.
I have been asked several times over the last 17 years of being a mom "who does a better job stay at home moms or working moms?" We all do our best job that we can. Some moms need to work, some need to stay home I cant judge anyone's situation or why there kid is yelling at the store. I can just know my truth and that at the end of the day I loved my kids as best as I can, I hugged them, kissed them and listened with all my heart.

Have a great day all!


Whats for dinner? We are having BLTs, and a salad.

New Direction

                          CHANGE

I have been battling myself the past few weeks over my blog, should I keep it, shut it down, start new??? 

I have decided to change it up. I started this blog to feature things I sell in my shop and I dont want it to be about that I want it to be about my life and all the things that go on around here. I think it will make for better reading and I can share more things I think about not what I think I should be blogging about. What do you all think?

I want to tell you all about our chickens, how I made cinnamon rolls, crafts I make, crafts the kids make, what I made for dinner you get the picture.

Whats for dinner? We are having lemon chicken, rice and sauteed green beans.

Mystery Bags

I am trying a couple of new things in my Project Random shop. I bundled some patterns and started making "mystery bags". Doesn't everybody love a mystery? I of course take pictures of what is going to be in the bag and you can see what you will be getting in the mail. I have collected so many odds and ends of crafting things and I really had no idea what to do with them. I woke up in the middle of the night remembering going to the Salvation Army with my grandma and we got to pick a "grab bag" of toys. I think this will help draw traffic to my shop, fingers crossed.  I have one posted so far take a peek.

I think its a good thing if I do say so myself. Have a great day all!!

Whats for dinner? Chicken and green olives over here.

Sadness and Joy

This last month has been chaotic to say the least, truck broke, plumbing is freaking out here, hubs went back to work, I could go on. Last week was an eye opening experience for myself. My 14 year old daughter had a plan to commit suicide. As a parent you dont want to receive a couple of different phone calls and this was one of them from the school counselor. I happen to be at a doctor appointment with my husband so I met the officer and the principal at the behavioral health center with my daughter. I was going through so many emotions and as I got closer to the door I almost burst into tears. We had to wait to see her, seemed like forever but it was only 15 minutes or so. The first thing she said was "wheres Steve?" I hugged her, held her and let her cry and listened to her apologize over and over again. After 7 hours of sitting in a small room and feeling like rats in a cage the ambulance came to take her for a 72 hour hold. When the ambulance drove away I broke down walking to the car feeling helpless and worried for her. The next few days were filled with a range of emotions and trying to make life feel normal for the rest of my children. We got the news we were able to pick her up on Thanksgiving morning. When the elevator opened she looked at us and said "I missed you guys" it was only me and Steve there to take her home she was feeling much better. She is bipolar and just cant control certain thoughts in her brain sometimes, so now with hopefully the right medications and therapy she will get the help she needs. 

All that being said over the last few months I have been struggling with what is my role in life, what am I here to do, whats my great work? Like a ton of bricks hit me yesterday morning I realized I am here to help her get through this time in her life. I worried so much when I stopped babysitting to clean houses I wasn't doing enough for my family, contributing financially. Cleaning houses has given me more time to take her to appointments and work on my sewing projects. I knew when I had kids I am the primary caregiver to them and I always would be, I would also do any thing for them. The over whelming feeling of I am doing this right and I am where I am supposed to be right now feels good. We still worry about money, bills, rent etc but that's life for us right now I don't want to be the person with all the fancy cars, clothes, cell phone etc. we have just what we need and are making it work. 
So Thanksgiving last week was a very good day with the family and many thanks to all of them for support and guidance love you guys!

Whats for dinner??? Turkey Alfredo yummmmmm..

What a day!!

Today I cleaned Mrs. L's house. She is a sweet woman who lives in a 3 bedroom two bathroom home with two cats. She talks to the cats while I clean, and tells me stories about her mom and her husband that passed away three months to the day after her dad passed. Her mom is still living and they are very close, I clean her moms house too. 
 I came home to a clean house thanks to my husband, paid the bills, rushed to the bank on to the school to pick up my kindergartener. I put some chicken in the oven to slow roast it and then off to pick up the other kids and meet with a teacher. After we get home I check the chicken and I guess I am not used to this stove yet because the chicken was still raw, so the kids lucked out and got the golden arches.  Going to go work on some embroidery.

More tomorrow dear readers.

I am still here

So with the move and starting a cleaning business I have been very busy to say the least. Also I have had trouble with thinking of things to blog about. I wish I could just think it and poof it would appear here. 

I no longer babysit my nephew, it was sad to see him move on to a bigger daycare but it was the right thing for both of us, he needs to grow with other kids and I needed to move on to bigger better things too. 

So far what I hate about living out in the country are the flies and the internet. The flies are bad right now for everyone I guess so that will go away, the internet on the other hand sucks big time we have satellite, a step up from dial up, I will take this as a big lesson in patience. My sister and I are working together for another craft fair next month so we have been busy bees making things. I am hoping to post pictures later this week. 

Well I just wanted to check in and say I am still here.


Whats for dinner?
To be honest I dont know I made a huge dinner last night to only have 4 of us eat it and the power was off for a couple of hours today so that threw off my plans for slow baked chicken. Oh well we will survive. 

Moving On

Well it has been a whirl wind of a week. Last week I was talking to my husband about reinventing yourself, doing your great work in life. We discussed how great it would be to have a house with a shop, land for the kids and a space for my crafts and Etsy. That evening I was reading our local paper and read an ad for a house for rent with a shop, 4 bedrooms and 3 baths on 1 acre. My husband looked and me and said give me the number, he called  the guy happen to be in town and we went over looked at it and the next day turned in the application and are now moving in. I could not be more excited for this wonderful new venture in our lives. I will post pictures as soo as I can.

Whats for dinner? we are having leftovers.

Reinvention

Have any of you thought about reinventing yourself? Getting in touch with your true passion? If you could do anything what would it be?

I, after some thought would be a store owner up cycled, retro, vintage and craft things. I like when people see things that remind them of their past and of happy times. 

My dad owned a store for so many years and we as his children were never given the option to have a business like that. We were told you need to go to school, after a while that's all I thought I could do was go to school. I never did go to college, I had my first child when I was 19 and then 4 more children later I lost sight of myself, my dreams and goals.

So many of us get caught up in the day to day we forget to make memories, smile, laugh make connections with old friends. I want that in my life. I want to see people be happy I want to help people create crafts, help people find that one piece to a china set their grandmother gave them. I want my children to see what passion is and to discover their own. I have started this to some degree with my online shops and now just need to grow the seeds I have planted. Check them out... www.projectrandom.etsy.com and www.projectstockpile.etsy.com.

I will have to work hard, make sacrifices but it will all be worth it. I want to be in control of my future for what I want, not what society thinks I should be doing.
I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Whats for dinner? we will be having chicken alfredo.

Book Review of The Help

I must tell you all about this book I read, to many of you it will look familiar.

What most of you need to know about me is I don't like reading very much. When I was in the second grade I was diagnosed with dyslexia. After many years of extra help and going to summer school every year, I just never had a want to read for pleasure. I almost hated reading and sometimes as a grown woman I still have problems when people ask me to read them numbers or a few lines from something. The last time I read a book from beginning to end was years ago. Don't get me wrong now I always read articles, blogs and craft books, just not any novels.
 Then this book came along. It took me a week to finish, in between taking care of the kids and sewing, I made little bits of time everyday. I felt like I was watching a movie and I kept getting interrupted. This is a great one to pick up and share with all your friends. I enjoyed that the author did not feel the need to describe every leaf on a tree or the texture of the fabric on the couch. It was simple and to the point. I almost cried a couple of times and laughed plenty of times. I am looking forward to seeing the movie and maybe finding another book to read soon.


Whats for dinner? We are having Taco Salad.

Estate Sale

So earlier last week I read in the paper there was an Estate sale for a woman who had passed in the next town over. I ask my sister Melissa you wanna go? We make our plans and she picks me up on Saturday morning at 7:45 and we head off. To my surprise there is a line down the sidewalk. When we are all let into this womans yard people start shoving, running and being so rude. Of course I am here like everyone else to get things to put in my shop. With all the chaos I end up standing next to a women who I look at and say this is so crazy, she agrees and explains to me she went to school with the son of the woman who passed and everyone knew she had nice things. I told her well I guess that's why we are all here but people can still be respectful of her things and to her son, who was the cashier. I also mention things are priced way to cheap, she said I was sweet and we shook hands. I make my way through all the people to find my sister who is digging through 2 storage containers of purses. We look at each other and get in line to pay. When we pay I tell the son I am sorry for his loss and he said thank you very much, I felt like I caught him off guard in a good way though. Then he tells me the box with all the salt and pepper shakers I was buying was one of his mothers favorite collections.


When we were younger my father would buy all the contents of a house after a person has passed. He always taught us be kind to the people, respectful of their situation and always remember they took a lifetime to collect these things. I guess a lot of other people dont feel the same way.

So here is what I picked up

I really liked this older doll, I am so curious about her story I guess I will have to make one up. Well thats all for now..

Whats for dinner?  We are having leftovers...

Vintage Patterns

So I have to keep this one short today on my way to take my son for an ultrasound. I want to share some recent patterns I have picked up from yard sales. Take a look..

I cant tell you how excited I get when I find these great old patterns in the bottom of a box of "junk" sewing things someone wants to get rid of. I have been posting them one at a time on my Etsy click here. These make me think of how sewing must have been in the 1940s or so the different fabrics, machines and women sewed a lot more often I think. What do you think?

Whats for dinner? We are having pasta with sausages.

Before and After

Hello all, how are you today? While working a booth with my parents this last weekend, at a local flea market, my dad pulled this great little shelf out, here take a look...

I was eye balling it and kept thinking what could I do with it??? I guess my dad saw me and said all your buttons and little sewing things would sure look great in that don't ya think?  So before he could finish I said I will take it home and clean it up. My lovely hubs painted it for me too.

I need to make some labels I think, but not quite sure. I kind of like seeing through the little drawers.

So whats for dinner tonight? We might be having dollar menu if we go to a new flea market tonight. The kids are excited doing something on a school night.

Feed back please

Hello dear readers hows are you today? I am great, actually looking for a bit of feed back if you dont mind on my lateset creation. Here are some pics.

I havent given her a name yet. She was pretty easy to make, I didnt follow a pattern just kept going with my imagination. I had a ton more ideas so I wrote them down for future dolls. So do tell what do you think?

Whats for dinner??
We are having stew the kids will be so happy.

New Dolls EEEK

Today is the day these two lovely ladies will be listed in my Etsy shop. I am so excited and nervous. They are all hand made and the clothes are made from vintage fabrics I have been lucky enough to find. Please visit my shop here to see more.







This beauty is Zombie-Ann



Meet Franken-Ann

I have a couple more dolls in the works right now :) I will post as soon as they are done. Have a great day!!

Whats for dinner??

We are having breakfast the kids have been wanting french toast for a while.

Craft Fair Flop??????

Here we made a display for my sisters artwork. She got so much interest it was great.

 here are the dolls I made and some last minute little monsters.

We both made some magnets from things we had around our houses.

I put out some of my felt food and dessert plates my hubs put together. I had one girl come back several times to look at the cherry pie so I sent it to her on Tuesday, I got the sweetest note from her yesterday.

My sister Violet (who doesn't craft much but helped us set up and brought us coffee) and the Artist of the family Creepymama.

Our set up, after a couple of hours I decided to move everything just because we were not getting kids looking at the beads.

And here are all the beads!!

After a hot two days and all the work we made enough to pay for the booth. Creepymama did get a deposit for a portrait WOOT WOOT. My mom of all people ordered a doll :] I wish I had gone into this more with the thinking that this would be a learning experience. So now I am glad we did it, I met fellow crafters, learned what I need to work on more and had fun hanging out with my sisters.
So I am off to get more things done! 



What for dinner?? We are having chicken of some sort....                                                                                                      

Here we go!!!!

Here goes my first 30 days of Lists. I have been a list maker since before I could write. I carried around notebooks and papers always playing office. So today's first list is
Goals for the month. It didn't take me long to write my list...
#1 goal this month hit 100 sales in my Etsy shop
#2 get new dolls posted in my other shop
#3 blog 4 times a week
#4 KICK-ASS in both craft fairs this month.

Here is the page I made in my notebook. This is going to be so fun all month long.

Don't worry readers I will not just be posting about 30days of lists all month, I will keep you updated on all the happenings with new treasures, giveaways(doing my first one this month) and of course whats for dinner.

In other news around here my daughter Mary had a fashion show last night for the pageant she is in this Saturday for Miss Newman. She did a fantastic job so proud of her!!

Excuse the photo still learning how to work the settings on the camera. 

Well I am off to finish a Zombie-Ann. 

Whats for dinner? 
We are having bean and cheese burritos.

PUGLY

This week is so busy for us. I think today might be the only day I have nothing going on.
I was able to finish this embroidery this morning though.

I got the pattern from Sublime Stitching for free!!! Well gotta keep it short today I have a doll to finish and another one to start.

What for dinner tonight?
We are having leftovers, cooked alot this weekend.